Broken Record
From The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Trans. Eva M. Martin (Kansas: Digireads, 2018), pp. 535 (ePub edition):
There is always a something, a remnant, which will never come out from your brain, but will remain there with you, and you alone, for ever and ever, and you will die, perhaps, without having imparted what may be the very essence of your idea to a single living soul.
Dear readers, I am struggling with writer’s block, and in this post, I will write my way out of it with you as a participant. Over 95% of the posts on NoBrow were written on the day they were posted. Some posts were easier to write while others felt like a form of hostage negotiation with the self. On some days, the words flow almost effortlessly; on other days, like today, nothing is coming out. The worrisome thing about writer’s block is that if you allow it, it will not only frustrate the heck out of you but could also deter you from writing for a while. The more you don’t write, the more you won’t write. There are ideas on my mind that I want to express, but they are still inchoate and require further rumination. I don’t know in what direction to take them. Then it hit me: this is what the newsletter is for—to throw out unfinished thoughts and continue working my way through them over time. I have been thinking about what to write since Saturday, but life has gotten in the way. Then I remembered that writing is like a tap; you have to flush out the bad water before the good one comes through. Fortunately for me, I don’t make distinctions between them. In every badly written text, there is an idea waiting to be rescued – probably a life-changing one. I also prayed for help since I just couldn’t will myself to write. Over the weekend, I watched and danced to a lot of euro disco songs from the 80s. I also watched several Jon Batiste videos on Youtube, ranging from the Architectural Digest one he did with his wife to one where he remixed Beethoven’s Für Elise on the piano. He reinterpreted the piece, transitioning from Blues to Gospel. I preferred the Gospel version, as usual. His virtuosity brought me intense delight. Those who know me understand that I am a huge fan of Beethoven’s 5th and 6th symphonies. When I listen to the 5th, I feel like I’ve got the power to chase demons out of a room. I don’t know what inspired Beethoven so profoundly when he composed it, but the dude didn’t hold anything back. I suppose I secretly aspire to manifest that level of intensity in my art and life. 🦦
I associate Beethoven’s Für Elise with an ice cream truck that used to slowly drive through my neighborhood. As the music grew louder, I knew the driver was probably a street or two away from mine, and I’d rush out to buy ice cream. Now that I think about it, I probably deserve the two fillings in my teeth. I had a strong liking for sweet things in my teen and pre-teen years. I had no idea who composed the music blaring from the truck’s speakers, and frankly, I didn’t care. All I wanted was ice cream, and that piece signalled its presence in the neighborhood. Fast forward to my mid-20s. While hanging out with a friend, an ice cream truck playing the same piece was slowly driving down the street we were on. I immediately told my friend that I had to get some ice cream and asked if he wanted some. I was so excited, expecting a flood of joy to overwhelm me. Alas, it tasted like fabric—an exaggeration, but it didn’t taste as good as I thought it would. It made me wonder: Did the standards of the ice cream drop, or did my taste buds change? Or perhaps it wasn’t that great in the first place. Even though I don’t recall how the one I used to buy in my pre-teens tasted, I sense this one wasn’t it. But then, I might be wrong because humans tend to romanticize the past. What if that was actually how it tasted? I don’t know if there’s a technology that can analyze, document, and recreate taste. If the technology exists, I hope the inventor(s) unlock all the value they deserve. If it hasn’t been invented, could someone please work on it? Why you might ask? For instance, two cooks following the same recipe might end up with entirely different results. Although useful, descriptions like sweet, sour, jammy, and bitter are somewhat vague. One still needs specifics, like the distinct interaction between your tongue and the thing consumed. Anyway, is it the same-ish ice cream from over a decade prior or is the truck driver out to ruin children’s experience of ice cream. Hold that thought while I get some cone ice cream. 🐧
Interesting segue into something else that I have been thinking about – Personalised AI. I know ChatGPT is great and all, but what I want from AI is to make connections the way I would, only hyper-fast. AI that, based on my experiences, would notice the things I would typically notice in a text, movie, song, or an event. And occasionally, it would point out things I might not have noticed, but that could be useful, adding a bit of valuable randomness. First, it would need to observe me performing certain activities over a span of years. This would be equivalent to me being split into zillions of units, each chasing different things down various rabbit holes, reporting back, and then consolidating all those observations into actionable insights, complete with a step-by-step plan for implementation. The AI is only there to augment what I would normally do, but at a speed and scale that is beyond anything I can currently conceive. What if things go wrong? Well, when you invent the car, you inevitably invent the car crash. And when that happens, we also create road safety measures in the form of regulations. If you think about it, ChatGPT is a product of its time. We have more information trying to drown us — how did we think we were going to manage that without help? We would need tools to help us parse that information, tailoring it to our specific needs and purposes. In today's world, every category presents a multitude of choices. Take ordering ice cream as an example—you're inundated with a plethora of options. How do I know this? Because I am also trying to order ice cream while I type this. Also consider this: You're on Netflix, searching for a movie that matches your mood. You spend more than an hour scrolling through options, trying to find the right film. Despite the extensive selection, you end up turning off the TV, unable to find anything that resonates with how you feel. Well that is the problem of abundance. In the past, curators, gatekeepers, reviewers, influencers, and thought-leaders streamlined our decision-making process. They guided our choices on what to buy, think, watch, read, visit, and listen to. 🦌
Although they still exist today, even the reviewers and influencers are as clueless as we are, entrenched in deeply flawed systems. Companies frequently pay individuals to cast their products or services in a favorable light, compromising the authenticity of reviews and recommendations. Influencers and thought leaders, bound by similar constraints, often withhold the truth, fearing the loss of status or privileges. Where are the “voices of those crying out in the wilderness”? But enough of these rants. Let me savour my ice cream in peace. Anyway, I know I am a broken record now but, humans are compelled to do more in less time. The reward for work is more work. This is the paradox of prosperity: As your earnings increase, your expenditures tend to rise correspondingly. You may find yourself wanting to purchase a larger house or a new car to reflect your new financial status. The more free time humans create, the more activities they find to fill it. There will probably never be a four hour work week in the strict sense. I don’t even think holidays would help because you take your problems anywhere you go anyway. Of course, humans would have no choice but to develop more tools that would help them keep up with the demands of that kind of speed and pressure. In the future, I don’t think that AI will be a competitive advantage because everyone will have access to it, similar to how many people own computers today. I dare say, merely owning a computer doesn’t confer a competitive advantage. What makes the difference is the person or group of people behind the computer. Some individuals, companies, and countries may have a head start, but when AI becomes ubiquitous, success will ultimately depend on the people using it. I did manage to exorcise the writer’s block. I always try to keep the newsletter under 1300 words, so I'll have to continue next week, even though I'm in the zone right now. Music has also been a helpful part of today’s writing process. If you were wondering, the genre I was listening to is 80s Euro disco/pop — featuring artists like Modern Talking, a-ha, Kim Wilde, Alphaville, and Desireless. Thank you for your patience, dear reader. Sending you lots of love and light. 🦊
Thanks for reading. If there's anything you'd like to chat about, or if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you. :)