YF&A #2
From Sweet Bird of Youth and Other Plays by Tennessee Williams (New York: Penguin, 1962), pp. 12:
Since I am a member of the human race, when I attack its behaviour towards fellow members I am obviously including myself in the attack, unless I regard myself as not human but superior to humanity. I don't. In fact, I can't expose a human weakness on the stage unless I know it through having it myself. I have exposed a good many human weaknesses and brutalities and consequently I have them.
Before I proceed, I want to clarify some things. I'm trying to understand the actions of people on the show from different perspectives, based on my background and life experiences. It's like the story of the blind men and the elephant—what you see depends on the lenses you use. What you know influences what you see, and what you see changes what you know. One lens that I can't avoid is the Euroamerican one, which has been dominant in the world. The Euroamerican lens is almost like a global standard for judging whether an action is right or wrong. It also shapes how we organize society and live our lives. This lens tends to dismiss anything that doesn't align with it as incorrect or unsuitable for society. It's not often talked about, but other cultures constantly have to switch their perspective to fit into these Euroamerican values, even when it doesn't work for their own unique challenges. What I am trying to say is that I will make a case for against certain actions that takes into account different ways of seeing. Another thing I’d like to mention: let’s for a moment suspend disbelieve and assume that things on the show are true. Thank you! The first episode of the second season really starts when Naked DJ and Khanyi meet for a catch up. As they drive through the city, Khanyi asks Naked DJ what is the state of things in his relationship with Kayleigh. During the usual solo interview segment where people on the show can riff off on things that happened, Khanyi points out that judging by the images the couple upload on instagram they seem to be happy. But what she’s really curious about is if the couple are still in therapy because “pictures lie and instagram is not real.” What is portrayed on social media doesn’t necessarily match the actual situation on ground. Naked DJ tells her that obviously things are not 100% but he’s working on finding a compromise with Kayleigh. Dude goes on to add that he’s “dicking her down good” and Khanyi agrees by saying, “You got to do that. You’ve got to hose your flower.”
Even though we know better, we often forget that social media is just another tool for signalling or communicating certain parts of ourselves to the world. As a result we have to pick which self or selves we wish to show the world. This isn't necessarily a new or negative thing as we tend to modify how we present ourself to others, anyway. In short, we are in a constant loop of presentation and re-presentation. In the past, when people posed for portraits, they would sometimes ask the artist to hide certain features that made them feel uncomfortable or didn't align with the beauty standards of that era. This practice extends to photography as well. In earlier times, individuals would dress in their finest attire, visit a photographer's studio, and have their photos taken and edited to portray themselves in the best light. It's not surprising that we carried this mindset over to Instagram. What's interesting is that it's not limited to our physical features; it also extends to our surroundings. If you're not satisfied with a photo, such as a picture of food at a restaurant or a vacation snapshot, you can use filters to make adjustments and enhance various aspects. While it's true that social media platforms are intentionally designed to promote and reward specific behaviors, it's important to note that if these platforms didn't align with our preferences, no amount of social engineering would compel us to use them.A notable example is the social app called BeReal, which positioned itself as a refreshing alternative to platforms like Instagram. BeReal aimed to encourage its users to be authentic by capturing photos of what they were doing at random moments. While it gained hype in 2022, the app has experienced a significant decline in daily users, dropping from 20 million to 6 million. What does this tell us? Perhaps, we are not really interested in “authenticity” as a category. Besides, does authenticity even exist? We often throw words like this around, but what does it really mean? Can we ever be authentic? Authentic implies that there is a standard that we are judging against to know if something is genuine or fake. But who we were 20 years ago is different from who we are today. We don’t think the same thoughts or have the same goals. We probably have embraced multiple ideologies during that length of time — so which self is the authentic self? Authentic to what? I might be wrong, but it sounds like authentic doesn’t encourage change. Because it comes with a fixed idea of what the self is. Or is authentic the part of the self that is never changing in a sea of changes? I don’t know, but if you’ve got a take on that please do leave me an email.
People, more often than not, try to influence how others see them. As long as there’s an observer, we will gladly put on a show. We know on an intuitive level that how we are perceived will determine our access to opportunities or lack thereof. Opportunities, whether you use them or not, play a crucial role in shaping the quality of your life, especially in today's capitalistic world. You can easily translate opportunities to cash if you know how to recognise and monetize them. To illustrate how we consciously shape how we are perceived, consider how when people go on dates they try their utmost to put their best foot forward. They don't reveal all their flaws or past mistakes during the initial encounters, just as they don't include negative aspects of their history on their resume when job hunting. The reason is simple: in both situations, revealing such information could cost them a potential mate or job opportunity. Social media is no different. People mostly upload photos where they appear happy or triumphant. Social media is an aspirational tool in this sense. We want homes or relationships that look like the ones we’ve seen on instagram. Even though we are aware that social media isn’t a 1 to 1 representation of matters on ground, we still strive to emulate the idealised images we see, even when the person posting them may not have the romantic relationship or lifestyle that we envy If Naked DJ is experiencing difficulties in his relationship, he won't necessarily come on social media to reveal that, as it would contradict the image the couple is trying to project. We also tend to avoid rawness; we prefer things to be mediated or cushioned. When we ask people how they are, we don't truly want to know the honest answer. We hope they reply with 'fine' so that we can move on. When Naked DJ mentioned 'I dick her down good,' many people likely rolled their eyes or found it cringe-worthy. But dude was “perhaps” stating facts but many thought it was too vulgar. On the other hand, Khanyi saved him with a euphemism and instead of “dick her down good” she said 'hose your flower.' Can you see? Even in our speech, we try not to express things as they are. Instead, we refine our words by using euphemisms to make difficult or uncomfortable topics more digestible. Makes me wonder if 2baba would have faced a backlash on Twitter if he had expressed himself in euphemisms? Anyway, may you find friends that will protect you from your own folly.
Thanks for reading. If there's anything you'd like to chat about, or if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you. :)