YF&A #4
From The Collaborative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life by Twyla Tharp (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2009), pp. 35 (ePub edition):
In this partnership, they were both egoless — they knew how good they were and how little they had to prove to one another. Their best commonality: Each was the other’s biggest fan. What a difference that makes! They were never competitive — playing around, Greg taught Misha a time-step and Misha taught Greg an open Pirouette, but they never thought to wear each other’s shoes when the camera rolled.
Happy Youth Day, South Africa! According to the United Nations, youth are people between 18 and 25 years old. In South Africa, youth includes individuals between 14 and 35 years old. That means I'm not considered youth anymore, tough luck, eh! Age can be measured in different ways: chronological, biological, social, and psychological. Chronological age represents the number of days or years that have passed since your birth. On the other hand, biological age relates to the cellular and physiological processes within your body. It's possible to be 40 years old but have the biological age of a 30-year-old if you maintain good health and fitness. However, If you don’t, won’t or can’t take care of yourself, you know how the rest of the story goes. Psychological age is the process — personality and mental functioning — happening inside your head as you get older. You can be 60 years old but possess the mental agility and openness typically associated with a 25-year-old. It means you have a youthful mindset characterised by curiosity, adaptability, and a willingness to explore new ideas. OR you can take the other route, take on the negative traits associated with older individuals like close-mindedness, unwavering certainty, gate-keeping, chronic risk-avoidance, and so forth. A lower psychological age signifies a sense of childlike wonderment. Being childlike in this context does not imply immaturity or childish behavior. Instead, it represents a positive quality of maintaining a youthful and vibrant outlook on life. Finally, Social aging is all about how people see and treat you as you get older. It includes things like the roles you have in society, what people expect from you, and the stereotypes that come with different age groups. The way society views aging is influenced by its cultural beliefs, values, and attitudes. So that feeling of sadness on our birthdays may be connected to the understanding that our role in society is slowly changing. It involves how others will treat or see us, what our society believes we should or should not do, and the things it thinks we will have access to or must miss out on. 🦋
Why the preamble? Because the attitude of your society towards age can be a constraint, blessing or a mix of both. It can be challenging for individuals who navigate multiple cultures, societies, and communities, each with its own unique requirements and values. I salute you and send love, light, and peace your way. Without sounding like a broken record Annie Idibia, who is only 38 years old, seems to be taking on the role of someone much older. Surprisingly, she's not the oldest person on the show. In many parts of Africa and some parts of Asia, people have positive views about age. As you get older, you get to enjoy certain benefits. People tend to respect you and listen when you speak. Age is often associated with experience and competence, which can make others see you as a leader or even give you the role by default. There is nothing particularly wrong with this because in the past, the secrets, wisdom, and knowledge of a society were in the hands of the older generation. They possessed knowledge gained through experience or passed down to them by their own elders. That paradigm was advantageous to the elderly because they will not only gain respect but they will be treated kindly because they had something to bequeath their successors. Unfortunately, that paradigm is gradually shifting because we have discarded certain assumptions that were once widely held. The first assumption is that wealth can either be acquired through inheritance or accrue as you get older, but now we see individuals in their early twenties becoming billionaires through their own ingenuity. The second assumption questions the need for the elderly when we have the vast resources of the internet, enabling us to access knowledge about nearly anything, including different cultures and historical periods. This thought alone gives me shudders because increasingly the elderly might have no place in society in the future because we might not think they have anything to contribute. Put a pin on that I’ll come back to it. 🦄
Annie uses her age to signal superiority. Collaboration becomes impossible when one person thinks they are better than the other or is of a higher standing than the other. Egos also makes collaboration difficult and guess who loses? In the long run, it’s the one who feels superior or has a higher standing. Because they close themselves off from new practices and techniques that could have revitalised their trajectory. Young people are often full of energy, courage, curiosity, and zest for life. On the other hand, old age can sometimes make people feel less active and enthusiastic. Instead of embracing and trying to understand the younger generation, some older people may go against them, trying to hold on to their own power and control because they sense a potential threat. At first, young people show respect to their elders, but if the elders become controlling and oppressive, it can cause the younger ones to rebel and seek a change of guards. Eventually, unfair or tyrannical authority is bound to be overthrown, even though it may take some time for it to occur. The quote at the beginning of today’s post refers to a dance sequence choreographed by Twyla Tharp for the film White Nights (1985), featuring Mikhail Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines. Two things struck me about the two dancers. First, both dancers didn’t come to the partnership from a place of ego. They knew they were both good and didn’t feel the need to prove themselves to each other. They recognised each other’s talents and didn’t waste time competing for the spotlight. Secondly, they were each other’s biggest admirers. This can be quite hard, especially when many people view life as a zero-sum game, where one person's success means another person's failure. The belief is that for someone to win, someone else must lose. Admiration means that you know you have a thing or two to learn from the other person, especially in how they lead their lives. Admiration involves appreciation and humility. It means you are coachable and open to new ways of being. Admiring someone means feeling really positive about that person. It's like having a strong, good feeling towards them. Envy is a different story. In my view, it leans more towards negative feelings about others. 🦅
Thanks for reading. If there's anything you'd like to chat about, or if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you. :)