YF&A #5
From The Decline and Fall of the Status Symbol by Paul Blumberg (1974), pp. 481
But what are the necessary components of a status symbol? Why does one object confer status while another does not? I will argue here that if something is to serve as a status symbol, it must satisfy two conditions: first, it must be defined as socially desirable; and second, it must be scarce. A status symbol must satisfy both these conditions, not merely one.
At first, neither Annie nor Swanky wanted to tell the rest of the gang why they had a falling out. They thought they could solve their problem by themselves over time. If they told the gang, it would probably make the problem worse. Kayleigh might be in a tough position because she's not black. Anything she says could be misunderstood, which might explain why she doesn't give her opinion on many issues on the show. Anyway, what does that say about the group or gang if two warring parties can’t trust the group to resolve conflict between two of its members? Andile seems to be the glue that keeps the group together. He tries his best to understand why there's tension and how to fix it. He managed to make Swanky and Annie friends again, and he also helped the group like Louis more. On the other hand, Khanyi seems to enjoy causing more tension even though she could easily clear things up. The interesting thing about Andile is that he uses a microscope for other people's problems but a telescope for his own. He throws more balls in the air for himself and finds it difficult to juggle them. Even though he already has two women in his life, he wants to add a third with her own set of complexities. I am beginning to think that one of the most important skills in life is to either know how to handle needless complexities or reduce them altogether. One of the reasons for emotional complexities is that oftentimes we have competing or even conflicting desires. Fantana may want more than one thing with Diamond, and it's up to her to figure out how to reconcile that with what she has told the rest of the gang. She said she just wants a fling with Diamond but is she also willing to confront his ex-wife about her hold on him and her refusal to let the dude pursue other women. Fantana pointed this out even before she kissed Diamond on the couch.
There is a sense of general mistrust in the group. The proverb that a problem shared is a problem halved only applies under certain conditions. Members of the group can't really share intimate things with one another because they have an intuitive feeling that those vulnerable moments will be weaponized against them in the future. I suppose one of the qualities of a great friend is one who holds space for you during your vulnerable moments but will NEVER EVER bring it up. Then you won't be worried about being vulnerable. For all that can be said about being vulnerable, the question is: how can I be vulnerable when there’s a possibility that you might either kick me when I am down or poke fun of me in the future with others? Maybe that explains why people would rather confide in their therapist than their friends. And if the said person doesn't have a therapist, that is the equivalent of walking around with a block of marble on your chest. Interestingly, all the members of the group were awfully supportive and understanding with Louis when he told them all about his struggles. I think when different factions form within a group, it can lead to any group falling apart. What each faction thinks about a problem would determine how soon the problem gets solved. Together, they can resolve issues in minutes, but if they break themselves into factions, they may escalate it, and then there will probably be no end in sight. Khanyi invited them all to some art event to make sure that everyone put their issues out on the table and they could resolve them once and for all, but the way she spoke only ended up making things worse. Nadia, on the other hand, is subtle in her instigations. She will either dig a hole for you to fall into or create an atmosphere where you end up digging the hole and falling into it yourself. An example would be at Diamond's party, where Khanyi had to take Nadia to another room to prevent her from causing trouble. On the other hand, I think Nadia would be really great as a lawyer, writer, investigative journalist, sociologist, etc. I hope she incorporates her ability to evoke emotions into her music because an interesting aspect of rap music is the beefs
But you can't blame Nadia. Writers or journalists generally seek inspiration and often ask themselves when they hear or see something: 'Is there a story here? Can I make a story out of whatever is happening?' I personally think it's bad form to write anything nasty about those close to you because they probably don't have the same platform or microphone to tell their side of the story, and people often don't have time to hear both sides anyway. Especially if you entered a relationship solely for material to sing about and then make money off an album without compensating your ex. I know this is an unpopular opinion. If your ex was mean to you, then call them out, but don't make it your signature to get into relationships or friendships just to have inspiration for things to write or sing about. That aside, I also notice that another thing that causes tension in the show is articulation and presentation. When we are trying to get our thoughts across and the other person doesn't understand or intentionally tries to distort them, we lash out. Khanyi may have wanted to fix things in the group, but because of how her presentation, people became even more stubborn in their positions. Louis wanted to start a family, but he didn't know how to express it clearly, so it came across as neediness and a lack of clarity about what he really wants. There's something called the principle of charity, which means we should assume the best intentions of others and try to find the kindest explanation for their words or actions. It helps us avoid jumping to negative conclusions or assuming the worst about someone. It's a way to be fair and considerate when we try to understand others. Instead of thinking bad things about them, we should try to be fair and thoughtful in understanding what they're really trying to say. We can choose to distort their words to make them look bad, or we can apply the principle of charity and try to understand their true meaning.
Thanks for reading. If there's anything you'd like to chat about, or if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you. :)