WHRS! #1
Selected Letters by Pietro Aretino (London: Penguin Books, 1977), pp.110:
But I hear that with the Last Judgment which you are painting at present, you intend to outdo the Creation of the World which you have already painted, so that vanquishing with your own paintings what you have painted, you will triumph over yourself.
In December of 2022, I wrote a post setting my intentions for the next year. I mentioned that I was going to concentrate all my efforts on four areas: health, wealth, relationships, and service to others. In my heart of hearts, I knew the odds were stacked against me, and that I might not make a significant dent in the areas I chose to tackle. According to Time Magazine, estimates suggest that as many as 80% of people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions by February, and only 8% stick with them for the entire year. The funny thing about me is that I secretly enjoy it when the odds are not in my favour – a kind of benign masochism, if you will. Although I wrote the post in December, the decision to make those changes had occupied my every thought. I am still of the opinion that if you want to make any life changes, do it in October or February – leave January out of it. There was nothing particularly wrong with my health, at least not that I know of, but I knew that if I was to excel in the last three areas – wealth, relationships, and service – I had to be proactive about living healthily. That meant I had to cut back on soda and visits to my favorite restaurant of all time, McDonald’s, from 7 times a week to just once. I wasn’t only thinking about my physical health; I was also considering my mental health. If your body is in great shape but your mind is not, trust me, your brain will make you painfully aware of it. When I mentioned benign masochism earlier, I didn’t mean that I want to be tied to a bedpost and whipped. Physical torture is not my thing, but then again, mental whipping is no fun either. With the former, you can see the scars; with the latter, they’re invisible. Anyway, what I meant to say is that I haven’t seen anyone who can torment me better than I can torment myself. I am my own worst critic. 👽
I hate myself better than anyone else can, and that’s not even a competition. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It means you are in a century-ish relationship with yourself, and it’s inevitable that you’ll have fallouts with yourself sometimes. But you want the overall relationship, over time, to lean more towards one of love and understanding. So that you, too, just like Paul the Apostle as he inched closer to death, can say, ‘I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.’ I have always been fascinated by that statement. Just pause for a moment and take that in. If you live well by your own standards, then you’ll have far fewer regrets as you age. If anything, you’d be so content with the life you have lived. You can boldly say, ‘I came into this world without a compass, manual, or map, showed up, put up a good fight against what life tossed at me, and still maintained my optimism that life is only going to get better,’ and didn’t fall prey to cynicism or nihilism. The question then would be, how do you live life in such a way that you’d have fewer regrets? A life that you can be proud of. I wish I knew the answers. The mind and body, in my opinion, are inseparable. People generally have a bias towards one or the other. Does the mind rule the body, or does the body rule the mind? Morrissey posed this question in a song by The Smiths titled ‘Still III’ It’s not a new question, anyway; it has plagued many for centuries. In the song, Morrissey answers the question by saying, ‘I don’t know.’ But I’d take a stab at it from my own experience. If my mind is in a terrible state, there’s not much I can do to will myself out of bed. In that case, the body is under the control of the mind, or the brain if you prefer. It's the same when you’re under the influence of stimulants. First, the body ingests them, then they affect the mind, and then the mind takes charge of the body. 🛸
Then there’s the scenario where you feel like crap, but after going to the gym or a dance session, all of a sudden you’re in a good state of mind. That’s your body telling your mind to behave itself. Even leaving your home to go hang out with friends can produce a feel-good effect. Some people also report crying during and after a deep massage because it feels like a weight has been lifted off them. They experience a sense of lightness, as if they’ve dropped some of the weight they’ve been carrying. That’s the body affecting the mind. The same goes for people who have lost even a kilo of weight or given up smoking; they report feeling better – whatever that means. The body and mind can coordinate sometimes, and at other times, they can send each other harmful messages. That’s why when some people are on hard drugs, their friends and family members report a change in their behavior, because what they put in their body starts to warp their minds. They are more likely to steal, resort to violence, or engage in any other anti-social behavior you can think of. Any information the mind receives gets to it through the senses – sight, touch, taste, sound, and smell. The body sends the message, the brain interprets it. Why the long sermon on the mind and body? Since I realised that I needed my mind and body to be in sync upon demand, I knew I had to be mindful of the things I ingested, devise self-comforting mechanisms, and exercise a few times a week. I enjoy running and swimming. I am glad to report that the swimming is going well. It was hard at first, but my coach was and still is very patient with me. I always show up; it’s like our unspoken agreement. Even on days when I am not in the mood to go to the gym, I still drag myself out of the house just for sessions with the coach. I wish I could also muster that kind of motivation for other things I want to do. I think a case could be made for good coaches. They know how to bring out the best in their students. ⭐
[To be Continued]
Thanks for reading. If there's anything you'd like to chat about, or if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you. :) 🍿